Slo' mo "Nooooooo"...

Have you ever clicked on a link and immediately you knew you shouldn't have? And within moments you are scrambling to desperately fix your computer and back everything up...just in case?

Perhaps you've been there. When you see the minuscule fine print just as you are clicking your mouse?

That really, really, small print that informs your brain that "this page didn't originate where you thought it did and boy is this going to be bad please God don't let my computer crash because I forgot to back up my hard drive even though I promised myself that I would every week since the last time this happened to me oh please no...."

Yeah.
You might have heard me. Anywhere. Around. The. World.

I was the one screaming in slow motion, "Nooooooo.........!"

I bought an external hard drive for my laptop. About a year ago.
A very nice, cute, sleek little device that is supposed to be easy to use and would give me the peace of mind needed if my hard drive ever got corrupted.

Because, if my house caught on fire, I would try to save all my photos first. Right after the humans and animals, of course.

On my computer...it's the same. I'd want to save all the digital images I've been downloading there for years.

So, I ask myself, why would I buy this device, let it set on the bookshelf in my office and never use it? Probably for the same reason that my treadmill has become an iconic statue in my dressing room. Not used, just looks nice.

The other day I saw a tidbit on the news about a boy in Chicago who died due to a brutal beating. Supposedly, it had been caught on tape. A street gang fight that killed a teenage boy, an honor student who was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. It peaked my interest. Not due to the violence, but how could a bystander catch this footage and not help? I wanted to see it for myself, not just the few frames shown on the news.

I ask you, where would you expect to find the amateur footage of the fight?
Why, yes. The internet!

Thus the beginning of the long drawn out overuse of profanity and my vocal chords.

I clicked on a link that I claimed to have the uncut footage I was looking for. Voila! A window opened on my desktop claiming my computer was under viral attack. It looked like it was from Microsoft. I assumed it was from Microsoft. But it wasn't from Microsoft.

Oh No! That can't be! A corrupted file? On my computer? *%^#@*!
*panic*

And then I did what you aren't supposed to do. Yes. I clicked the button that said "fix it".

I have now spent the majority of the last two days trying to get this bug off my laptop. SecureWarrior is the culprit. If you look at the small margin at the bottom left hand corner very closely, it identifies itself. But not until the damage has already been done.

It bogs down your system. It's collecting your data. It send pop ups every 4 seconds for you to "buy the full protection system".

I've removed the offensive program, however it doesn't fully erase it. It still sends pop-ups and is running in the background. It won't even allow me to restore my computer to a earlier date before the invasion of the warrior.

There are a slew of programs that claim to have the capabilities to remove SecureWarrior, but they want to download 12G's into your system and then charge you $30. I think not. I can do this. I'll figure it out.

"Damn, Nancy." I thought I was smarter than that.
I panicked.
I outright panicked when I saw that on my screen...

I might not have been smart at that very moment, but I am now.

I've donned my battle facepaint.
I got all Braveheart on the SecureWarrior.

I opened my sleek little exterior hard drive box. I plugged it in. I backed it ALL up. All my files. All my folders. All my photos. And now I'm getting viral on the virus.

Oh yeah.
They've not seen viral yet. I'm going to wipe them clean.

My daughter said to me yesterday as I was swearing (out of earshot and under my breath, thank you. I'm a good mommy...) at my computer screen as yet another try to restore did not work..."Mommy, it might be time to buy a new laptop."

Do I want one?
Sure.

My little Sony Vaio owes me nothing. It has served me well. Some of the letters are worn off the keys, but I know which ones are which, so it matters not to me. But it is a good little computer and I will not let it come to it's demise because of this trojan attack. I will succeed!

I will buy a new laptop when I choose to. Not when I have to due to brilliant people using their brains for, well, no good. Pissing people like me off.

I will buy a new laptop after I've extinguished the Warrior from my little Vaio.
And I did.

I'll be damned. I did it!
Now I can sell my own solution on the internet! I'll collect enough dosh to retire to Cabo. Maybe even enough to bring you all down to vacation with me.

Enough money to buy a new computer. I think I'll get a Mac.
They don't get hit by virus's, at least as often.

Now, how do I get this blue make-up off...
:-)