guilty pleasures...

I broke down and indulged.
I couldn't help myself. I caved.

I figure it's alright though, because isn't Valentines Day an excuse for indulging in guilty pleasures?

I've never been one to shun candy. I love me some good chocolate. Or beautiful flowers. Or extra long kisses...but I don't buy into the whole Valentine's Day "I love you so much that today and only today I'm going to show exactly how much by sending you flowers chocolates and cheesey cards" retail thang.

But I DO love guilty pleasures.

You probably have heard that the northwest got hammered again with snow. Presently, there is about 8-10 inches (and growing) of snow on the ground right outside my door and I don't even live in the snow belt. I like snow, I'm prepared for this kindof weather, so I say, "Bring It." I have a Jeep Commander that loves this stuff, I have a plowing service, a snowblower, I ski, I sled and I have a new pair of snow shoes. So c'mon Mother Nature, seriously, bring it on...

My guilty pleasure, my indulgence, stems directly from this recent snowfall.

Friday afternoon as I was sitting in my office reading my favorite blogs and I happened to hear the sound of wheels spinning. Not uncommon as our plows haven't been able to keep up, but these wheels were really spinning and it sounded rather close-by. It was also accompanied by many four letter words.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzttttttt. "F*ck!"
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzttttttttt. "S*it!"
ZZZZZzzzttttt.Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzttttttt. "F*ckin' F*ck, MotherF*ck'er!"

Now, you must know at this point of the story, I live across the street from an Elementary School.

It's 3pm.

There are little kids and parents picking up said little kids everywhere. If I can hear this inside my home, up on the second floor, in my office, with the windows closed...can you imagine what it sounded like down where this was happening?

I stood up and looked out my window and what did mine eyes perceive? But my obnoxious next door neighbor completely stuck in the apron of her driveway.

Now before you go and get all, "Nancy, that's not nice to laugh at someone else's misfortune." Let me set you straight on what I've had to live with these past two years of her tenancy next door.

My neighborhood is comprised of mostly single family homes with a smattering of duplex's mixed in. The house next door is a duplex. The neighbor is question lives on the first floor. A renter. I think with a male roommate, but there are so many people coming and going, I'm not sure anymore.

They have odd hours. Coming home at 2 or 3am, leaving other days at 5am. I've but talked to them once. They pull in. They go in the house. The come out of the house, get in their car and drive away. I've been out front doing yard work when they've pulled in before and don't so much as get a wave. It's a little odd.

I'm quite tolerant. I've never created a fuss, although this does get a little old. Me thinks she could take her trash can out sometime the day or night before, not at 4am in the morning...dragging it. Making all kinds of noise clanging her bottle recyclables against the pavement all the way down the drive. Did I mention it's 4am? Yeah. Real considerate. Very neighborly.

But as I say, I'm tolerant. Plus I don't want to start a neighbor, 'I'm going to call the police' war. I can see them trying to get back at me by calling every time my dogs bark or the kids play on the trampoline. So I've been patient. And kept my mouth shut.

The other morning they arrived home and woke me from a dead slumber. The music was so loud is was as if I had turned on my own stereo in my bedroom as I slept. I turned and looked at my bedside clock. 2:04 am the damn thing glowed at me in it's ambient blue light.

I got up, wiped the sleep from my eyes and hobbled over to the window. As I peered out the back window into my neighbors driveway three levels below, the music got louder. My neighbor was doing her rendition of a soft shoe, holding a beer, in the driveway next to the drivers open door. Phish. And like most Phish or Dead songs do....it went on forever. Dancing. Soft shoe. In the driveway. 2am Weeknight.

Yes. It was a Wednesday night. Or Thursday morning, depending on how you look at it.

Her house stands between mine (complete with 11 year old daughter) and my neighbors ( two daughters 10 and 13) who both have school aged children. In the summer, although annoying, it's somewhat acceptable. I get that. Summer nights. Heavy drinking. Incoherent, unruly, inconsiderate neighbors...whatev'.

But to err in waking a sleeping child on a weeknight so you can continue your party in your driveway? Hmmmm. Not so acceptable.

They are either just too dumb and young to know that they live in a residential neighborhood. There are responsibilities that go along with living in such neighborhoods.

*We all care for our yards.
*We take out our trash.
*We try not to offend our neighbors.

*bing*bing*bing*bing*

Oh! They must not have gotten that memo! The one that makes them compassionate human beings? Assets to the community?

Yeah.....that one.

So to see her out stuck in her driveway not knowing what to do?
That was my Valentines Day present.

I enjoyed seeing her upset and flabbergasted.

A good Samaritan pulled into my freshly plowed driveway to try to help. She retrieved a shovel from her trunk and went to try to shovel the blockage from the driveway apron. "Rock the car!", she yelled to my neighbor.

"Whaaaaatttttttt?! Do whaatttttttttt?", she whined.

"ROCK the car.", the good Samaritan yelled back. "You DO know how to rock the car?"

"Ummmmm. Whhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttt?"

I'm holding my head thinking....'Dear God, How dumb can this girl REALLY be?'

"Here. Let me get in.", Ms. Good Samaritan offered.

So the lady who has stopped to help this sloth out of her situation because she didn't even check the driveway and obviously has no idea to do with the shovel she's just been handed has now gotten into the drivers seat of the dumb ass girls car.

Another gentleman pulls up and in his suit and tie gets out to try to help as well.

Dumb girl stands in her pajama pants (did I mention this is 3:00pm?) and gloveless hands, holding a shovel while two strangers dig her shit out of her own driveway....I stand and watch.

And take pictures.

Valentines Day. Guilty Pleasures.

Bummer.
They unstuck her car. I had sooooo hoped she'd had been inconvenienced for awhile. That would've been fun. A little karmic payback.

But just like chocolates. Guilty pleasures don't last long.
Although I have photos, so I can look at those anytime I want. How fun for me.

That's almost better than chocolate.

:-)

Footnote Update: You'll all be happy to know that since my neighbors are seemingly too lazy to shovel their driveway, and not bright enough to hire someone to do it for them, she's been parking in the street. And right now, my Valentines Day bliss has doubled! The snow plows have her buried in the street. Of course, there are LARGE SIGNS posted that our street has a snow ban. Which means you don't park in the street if there is more than 2" of snow...because they WILL plow. And you WILL get buried.

Should I loan her my shovel? My snowblower?

Nope.I'm charging my video camera...

:-)
Delicious.

Happy Valentines Day! I hope you can enjoy a few guilty pleasures yourself!